Acceptance

We went to the movies last night and the theater we went to is not an easy one to navigate when you're hobbling, so we brought my wheelchair. The handicapped theater seating had no one in them so I was able to sit in the theater chair and park my wheelchair beside me. The theater chairs are leather and much more comfortable than my manual wheelchair. We were actually able to sit all together as a family in the handicapped row. It was really great.

There was a tall teenage boy sitting behind my wheelchair and he had his feet up on the bars. Everytime he would adjust his feet he would get closer and closer to my wheelchair. I felt like his feet were on my head and in my space, now remember I'm not sitting in my wheelchair. This feeling of having my personal space invaded while he was too close to my wheelchair tells me I have made a huge hurdle in my new life... I have accepted my wheelchair as part of me. It has always been a tough relationship for me with my wheelchair, I didn't want it, I don't like that I am at the point where I need one, even if it's not all the time. 

But this moment of this young man intruding on what I felt was my personal space was a huge turning point for me. ACEPTANCE. I accept that I need a wheelchair now and then. I accept that this is my personal wheelchair. I don't want your dirty shoes on the extention my body sometimes needs, just the way anyone would be bothered if his feet were actually hanging over the chair you were sitting in. 

I kept pushing and pulling my wheelchair this way and that way to keep him from putting his feet on it. Finally I got bold, this is very out of character for me, I turned around and politely said can you please watch out for my wheelchair when you're resting your feet? He apologized and took his feet down. 

If I had more time I would have told him this wheelchair is a part of me, it's what allows me to do these things with my family and when you put your feet on it I feel as though you are invading my personal space. That's right, I wanted to tell him how my wheelchair was a part of me. This is such a huge turning point for me. I accept my wheelchairs. They are a part of me, they help me do fun amazing things with my family again and please keep your feet off of me. 

Acceptance sure feels good. Thank you for stopping by and remember if you liked what you read make sure to follow my blog so you get notice of any new ones, and the best way to compliment me is to share my page with your friends. Hope you are all having a wonderful day. 

Invisibility Chair...aka my wheelchair

My wheelchair has an amazing super power it turns me invisible when I get in it....like Harry Potter and his invisibility cloak. I get in it anywhere in public and poof I'm invisible. This would be a really cool trick if at times it weren't downright dangerous. 

I was out doing Christmas errands with my daughters and I was using my manual wheelchair. My youngest daughter was pushing me in the parking lot, there were no handicapped spots, many were taken by non handicapped people or everyone is suddenly forgetting to place their handicapped placards. Unfortunately it is common to see this especially closer to the holidays, another good one I see is leaving the handicapped person in the car so you can get things done without the nusence of the handicapped person slowing you down, because I'm sure they love being used for prime parking. 

Anyways on the way out of the store a full sized older SUV (a Chevy Blazer 1980's style) starts rapidly backing out of their parking spot, my daughter is trying to pull me quickly out of the way I start waving my arms in a desperate manner, he continues backing up, I know my daughter is not able to move me out of the way quickly enough at the speed this vehicle is reversing I start screaming hello, at this point the man is well out of the parking spot and should be changing to drive anyways. He is finally alerted to our presence by my screaming, my daughter said the passenger was just looking at us the whole time, why this woman did not alert the driver to our presence I have no idea. Another costumer in the parking lot is shaking his head and makes a remark on how he didn't think the man was going to stop either. I understand my wheelchair is lower than his vehicle, but I have two other pedestrians with me and he never even looked over his shoulder. I believe he was planning on driving in reverse to the main road rather than go the rest of the way down the parking lot. 

I become invisible in my wheelchair even when people look me right in the eye, they will still step right out in front of me. People will walk around me, partially over me, straight into me. I feel like I am just a speed bump while they are on their life saving mission to get whatever they need. I even had a man ram my chair with his shopping cart, he gave a quick, quiet sorry as he quickly walked away. I am sitting there in shock and pain because he rammed me good. 

I was always taught manners and there is a different level of respect that you extend depending on the recipient. Elderly and handicapped were always given a higher level of respect and assistance, you should naturally hold the door for them, always smile and look them in the eye. Respect and manners seem to be rapidly disappearing and I'm sad to see them go. 

Who's with me in bringing back manners, common curtesy and respect. I for one am going to be talking with my children about it more and making sure that what we have always taught them is actually being used in everyday settings. 

Thanks for stopping by I really apreciate you taking the time to check out my blog. Remember the best comlimemt is to share my blog with friends, hit the follow button and feel free to share. 

Jack Frost is nipping at my joints

I know winter storms are hitting a lot of areas hard recently. My area has not been hit as hard as many others, but we are hitting record lows (single digits) and have gotten snow and ice. This winter storm is really hard on my body. I always have heard people say "a storms coming I can feel it", now I know what they mean. 

I just had my infusion last Thursday and I feel like I haven't even had it. Thankfully the pain isn't constantly severe, but there are definitely moments where it really spikes and catches my breath, even brings a tear to my eye. I have constant pain that is the high end of moderate level. I have a high pain tolerance as I have said before, but this is really taking a tole on me. 

With a constant higher pain level, it really fatigues me and my brain. You get to the point where you can't think straight. I get very frustrated with not being able to think clearly. I forget things easily and often can't think of simple words that I have used almost every day of my life. 

When things get like this I can't keep up with what is normally simple everyday tasks. Emails stack up because I don't have the mindset to be able to respond. Phone calls get ignored and messages remain unanswered. I save any energy I have for my husband and kids, but even that is very scarce. 

I had to approach my Dr about increasing my pain medications because I just can't take it anymore. He was willing to increase my dosage, but only for 2 weeks rather than the month I am normally prescribed, so that means making another appointment while I am not doing well, not to mention the fact that we have so much else going on already. I start to feel overwhelmed with the calendar filling in so quickly, especially knowing that my energy level is so low and pain level is so high. 

I love this season and this time of year, I even love the snow as my area hardly ever gets it...but I am really ready for this winter storm to move on.  

I hope everyone is staying warm and is not being hit too hard by Jack Frost. Thanks again for stopping by and have a great day.