Friday, January 10, 2014

Overly Active RA Day

 Unfortunately my bad days still seem to outnumber my good days. I still have faith in my new medication. I have noticed improved energy, which I am not sure if that's a good thing or not. More energy makes me want to do more, which my pain level doesn't agree with...it's a vicious cycle. I really wish I could learn where that fine line between getting things done and overdoing it, I think it's like the end of the rainbow.

There are definite stages to my bad times, I'll say times as I hardly ever just have a bad day. First stage is my emails pile up. The funny thing is I will still open them and look at them, but then I can't follow through with the action it requires ie replying or following it to a webpage to complete an action. I look and just keep marking them as unread.

I go through Facebook and want to comment on things but I only hit the like button, commenting is too hard, I worry if I'm making sense in the comment because I know my brain isn't clicking as well as it should. Even this gets to be too much, soon I won't even hit the like button. I know if people see me on Facebook I will get messages and I just don't have it in me to be able to answer a message. I don't want people to think I'm ignoring them so I just don't like anything. Soon it gets to where I don't even get on Facebook. 

I have little habits when my pain is bad. I always try to hide it from my family, but my husband is so observative he always catches onto them. I'll share a couple of my signs; I wiggle my legs first when the pain level starts hitting higher than my normal level. Then when the pain gets even higher I hum, I have caught myself humming in public before, it was a little embarrassing, I have no idea how long I had been doing it. When I hum it's not even a song really it's just a soft hum with no rhythm. 

I hope soon my good days will out number my bad again, I have so many things I want to do. I feel like my life is on hold, constantly waiting for a good day to come around, but more and more time keeps passing. 

I should think of better phrasing than bad day, maybe active RA days or in my case overly active RA days. In all honesty in my life I rarely have a bad day, everyday my husband, daughters and dogs make me smile,make me so proud, make me laugh etc etc. So really with such an amazing family there are no bad days. All in all my life is good, I just wish I had less overly active RA days. 

Thank you everyone for stopping by. Hope everyone is having a non flare day. 

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